I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
