I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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