just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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