If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
