margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize