You're so nebulous sometimes
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
operation harelip BJ is a go
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
