hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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