I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize