thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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