pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she pinky promised me she was 18
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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