Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
