her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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