i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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