My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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