hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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