are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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