I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
