I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
