there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
