Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
