Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
