apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
