i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize