Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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