Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
