it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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