i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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