The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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