five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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