why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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