I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
