so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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