he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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