I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
