They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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