I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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