...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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