I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
