Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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