We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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