Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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