Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Church boner. Awkwardddd
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
