Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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