Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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