I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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