You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We are two peas in an std pod
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize