they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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