Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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