no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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