she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
