We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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