I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
