i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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