Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
