once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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