Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
