Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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