Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
