I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize