piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I said "one day" and that day is not today
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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