hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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