..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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