Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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