she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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